It's neither black nor white. It's gray. Unassuming, unpretentious, unapologetic gray. A simple gray that made no promises.
When I first saw it, from the corner of my eye, I gravitated toward it. My instinct told me that somehow, I would be comfortable in it. It was my imagination perhaps, but I thought it had whispered to me, and perhaps even spoken eloquently to me. But it had not actually said a word. Not. One. Single. Word. There were words, words written on it, and I perhaps read those and interpreted it in my own way. I read what I wanted to read. The tee was simple, plain and clear in its message - "I may not be a partee, but I'll be your company". It was mine to make what I wanted of it.
It did not scream out or even reach out seeking me. I had a choice and I was the one attracted toward it. I knew that what I sought from this was different from the myriad colors that could be.
I sought comfort from the fabric that I knew it was made of. A thread that was familiar to me much like if I were a thread myself. My friends who were with me and knew me well, assured me that the fabric was great. I trusted them. I was expectant, hopeful, and optimistic. I liked the gray I thought, perhaps a blend of black and white that I was made of, or perhaps a contrast to what I was? I don't know really, why I thought that the tee might take to me. I don't believe I waited for a second to judge what I was made of. Was I gray, was I white, was I black? What was I? I did not weigh in for a second. All I wanted was that it be mine and fit me well. That it make me look good, feel good, and comfortable no matter where, no matter how, and no matter why. Was that right to expect?
I trusted my instinct and I made a choice. And I was happy. I smiled, held up the tee for my friends to see, they gave me the thumbs up and that was it. My instinct matched theirs and the decision was made. It was mine.
That was a while ago. As I held it close to me today, I happened to think back to the day when all of this happened. I looked at it again - and then again. It is today what it was. It's still a gray. Unassuming, unpretentious, unapologetic gray. A simple gray that makes no promises. It does not reach out to me, I keep reaching out every now and then. The words on it have not changed. I still read what I want from them, and amuse myself trying to interpret what I want of the words. At times it got stained. It had come with no instructions for care, nothing that said what would keep it going. My instinct taught me to handle with care which I did. And the fabric held, it's given me the comfort that my friends said it would. It was my second-skin, something I lived in, day in and day out. With it I was carefree, with it, I could be me. It protected me, covered me, kept me cool, kept me warm as the seasons changed. It withstood the test of time and stayed with me, as I did with it. It was there for me to cry into at times. It silently absorbed the tears, unaware that it was doing so. Not hugging me, not consoling me, it was just there, and I know it will be.
I know its mine. My favorite tee. "I may not be a partee, but I'll be your company" - it still says, unequivocally, and that's a promise I have come to trust.
8/23/2015
